Thursday, December 01, 2005

killing time

only 11 more days before i'm outta here for good. since i've decided to not bother with any of my classes, all i've been doing is staying in & trying to finish the foot-tall stack of books & dvds i borrowed from the library. that & making sure that i'm sufficiently incapacitated by drink that i don't get suicidal enough to actually Do Something About It; i'm looking at my calendar & i still can't believe that i've been in halifax for only 3 months -- objectively speaking, a quarter of a year isn't all that much even if i only plan to live until 60/senility, & yet here i am, doing something that's either Monumentally Idiotic or Absolutely Brilliant, depending on how idealistic you are. i haven't even figured out what i'm gonna tell my parents when i ship my stuff back home. "guess what? i'm a complete fuck-up so i'm dropping out of university & moving to new york to live in the muthafuckin' subway tunnels & scavenge for food on the streets because halifax makes me want to kill myself every morning i wake up to all the rain & quiet & i can't move back to toronto to live with you guys because waking up every morning to your arguments & fights doesn't exactly inspire me to live either?"

the worst part is, i don't know enough chinese to explain to them why exactly am i doing this (even though i'm not too sure myself). it took years for my parents to give up on getting me to become a doctor: how long is it gonna take for them to realize that there's no way in hell i'll succumb to their white picket fence dream of grandchildren & suvs?


At 8:39 p.m., December 01, 2005, Blogger Dana said...

Grandchildren and SUVs? They are really asking for a lot.

At 9:07 a.m., December 04, 2005, Blogger Jege (Jen) said...

Just make sure you keep up with the blogging after you move to new york. Your faithful readers want to know that you're all right.


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