yeah, life is interesting still, full of sex & drugs, blah, blah, yadda, yadda. went to a nude beach for the first time some days ago, managed to get myself down to nothing but a sarong, underpants, & a couple of safety pins...full-blown nudity will occur next time.
too bad y'all can't see it.
posted by malachi trizec @ 5:57 p.m.
0 straight whiskeys
if sex is the breakfast of champions, then i'm a loser only half the time.
posted by malachi trizec @ 9:11 a.m.
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remember when my life was boring enough to warrant at least a post a day?
i haven't slept in my own bed since last wednesday & tomorrow's the start of another 4-day weekend...
- my assmeats remain intact & unruptured.
- got my butt smacked by a good-looking woman for the first time.
- was offered crystal at a party but turned the guy down. (see? i do have some self-restraint)
- missed out on a street festival with free beer because i was watching the boyfriend get suspended from a tree by meathooks in his back.
...& more news from the relationship front: another woman's been added to jack's harem.
not much angst this time around -- all it took was a couple of beers & sticking another safety pin in my ear for me to come to terms with sharing him with her; this mostly has to do with the fact that she's a friend whom i already like & even look up to instead of a dumpling-shaped loser. i've slept mostly nude in the same bed with her [all hot girl-on-girl action will be promptly noted here, of course] & she's taken to calling me 'sweetie.'
i'll be happy as long as i get a few more kisses & nipple tweaks than she does...
posted by malachi trizec @ 10:42 a.m.
0 straight whiskeys
(hooray for makeup sex!)
the rear portal has most definitely been breached.
i'll report any signs of internal bleeding or incontinence.
posted by malachi trizec @ 7:12 p.m.
0 straight whiskeys
drinking like in the bad old days, tossing back my last bottle of chartreuse like it's water...
my quandary du jour is this: i dislike my principal lover's newly acquired auxillary but have no real veto power. my piece on the side [the yoga-y guy, who for some reason wants to go by the alias 'xavier' on my blog despite being neither bald, crippled, nor a leader of mutants] disapproves of my primary's [my drug-dealing, chain-smoking pirate, hereafter known as 'jack' -- as in "jack sparrow," or perhaps "jack daniel's" -- for narration's sake] dodgy personal hygiene but can do fuck-all about my taste in men...so it'd be Very Hypocritical of me to prevent her from joining his harem...
see? normal people don't have to worry about shit like this.
my sunday night/monday morning could be blamed on her. goth night? her idea. i'd already done it once in february & literally passed out in my beer from boredom but that was her weekly thing & jack suggested a double date, lets-get-to-know-each-other kind of thing with me, him, her, & her asexual roomate. i had my mini i'm-no-longer-goth epiphany the second i walked into the place & although i tried to be nice & all, just her brand new bauhaus t-shirt, pre-ripped fishnets, & mall-goth pants was enough to put her permanently on my shitlist.
(the fact that she's 8 years my elder & therefore ought to know better just makes it worse. one sure way to make me simultaneously lose all respect for & get frustrated by someone is by acting like a petulant 15-year old -- especially if he or she is pushing 30. being so obviously scared of me despite outweighing me by about 40 pounds doesn't help either.
i mean, lady, you managed to quit crystal meth & raise an extremely articulate 9-year old son on your own, so you must be doing something right so why don't you act. your. fucking. age?)
at some point during the night, i offered to fight her for him...
posted by malachi trizec @ 9:46 a.m.
0 straight whiskeys
friday: spent it chemically augumented & drinking people's unattended beers.
saturday: afterparty.
sunday: goth night; i've officially outgrown goth -- everybody in the 'vancouver scene' buys their boots at the same store.
monday: managed to o.d. myself with a quarter gram of ketamine & spent a time-warpy 2 hours puking my guts out & Seeing Things.
posted by malachi trizec @ 5:04 p.m.
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found headline of the night:
"archbishop of canterbury to shave arse for telethon."
this guy is utterly, batshit brilliant:
...witness exhibits a, b, & c.
posted by malachi trizec @ 10:46 p.m.
0 straight whiskeys
- walking through the rainy streets in 20 degree weather while wearing a floor-length pvc trenchcoat.
- walking through the rainy streets in 20 degree weather while wearing a floor-length pvc trenchcoat & carrying a taped-up parcel, trying to ignore the group of idiots behind me making explody noises & talking pointedly about bombs.
- walking through the rainy streets in 20 degree weather while wearing a floor-length pvc trenchcoat & carrying a taped-up parcel, trying to ignore the group of idiots behind me making explody noises & talking pointedly about bombs & then getting the hem of my trenchcoat caught in an escalator.
posted by malachi trizec @ 3:59 p.m.
0 straight whiskeys
- goes down smooth like a liver milkshake.
i'm bored & disgruntled, an art school dropout-turned-culinary school student - no, i don't want my own tv show or line of cutlery ever; maybe a rogue catering truck or small pub somewhere, someday. trying to 'think long term' & hopefully learn how to set down roots. --------------------------------------------------- non-medicinal ingredients: over-punctuation & incomplete sentences, 2nd-hand books, black pepper ice-cream, & mostly functional alcoholism.
& because i'm ever so lonely (...oh, the unbearable paainnn...)
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