Thursday, March 30, 2006

paris in the springtime: full of mimes.

'think locally, fuck globally' - gogol bordello
'havana affair' - ramones
'hungry heart' - bruce springsteen

a house across the street is being demolished-or-something so there's been been guys smashing in windows with hammers & tossing scrapmetal into dumpsters all morning long. normally, i'd be cheered up somewhat by the sounds of Destruction & Traffic outside my bedroom window but today the sky outside is too white & i have a headache.
not a hangover, a headache.

i need to do some more drinking: april's rent is due tomorrow.

i lost the x-acto knife i normally keep in my bag a while back & haven't bothered to replace it. here's a dumb (albeit most likely original) joke for y'all:

why didn't the emo kid kill herself?
she lost her knife instead.

this post written under the influence of:
1 shot of chartreuse
leftover beer
3 hours of sleep

words of the day:

i feel dubious right fuckin' now but obviously not bad enough to forget my apostrophes.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

gimme answers

soliciting advice from (semi-) strangers over the internet beats flipping a coin...

so what do y'all think of this?
i wanna go, just for the seminar if nothing else.

Monday, March 27, 2006

word of the day:


today is actually sunny for once & i've been meaning to go outside since 7 in the morning but i still haven't left the house. i've got sunblock (spf 50 because they were out of spf 60 & the store-lady already looked at me weird for buying sunblock in february) & my black umbrella so there's no reason why i shouldn't be outside frolicking...

Sunday, March 26, 2006

violently happy

my new, improved & more colourful avatar
(drunk & high on ecstasy, undoubtedly.)

compare it to my old avatar from november if you wanna play diy psychoanalyst...

Friday, March 24, 2006

abstinence is a-ok!

iron hymen
sex is for fags

day-old lilac-frosted green cupcakes for breakfast...such are the hardships that come with living alone...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

word of the night:


finally got my ascii-heartbreaker shirt today: i placed my order 6 months ago on the other side of the country & came home this afternoon to find a much-postmarked package crammed into my rusty little mailbox.

this brings the number of non-black shirts i own up to 3.

rainbow tie-dye can't be far behind.

'evil' is such a relative term...

You Are 80% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.
How Evil Are You?

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

back so soon?

...even beer fails to make institutionally endorsed, internationally acclaimed art exciting.

i'm gonna go walking in the rain...walk to the liquor store.
then i'm going to the unfortunately acronymed vag for a long-overdue dose of cheap Culture.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

you know your st. patrick's day was a good one when you're still sore & smelling of strawberry massage oil two days later.

Friday, March 17, 2006

make your own here.

hypothetical pornoflick for over-literate psych majors:

"manflute limerence."

just been out to see whole new thing. it's even better than brokeback mountain. go see it.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

back on track

spent almost $40 dollars on a single bottle of chartreuse yesterday
let's hope it lasts me a while.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Monday, March 13, 2006

i am fuckin' insane.

last night after being recruited for office-cleaning by some guy driving by while i was waiting drunk for the bus, i got offered a long-term gig but i don't think i'll take him up on it. i mean, do these sound like ideal working conditions to you?

-the first thing he said to me was "you a boy or a girl?" -- promptly followed with a Yes, I am Female, & No, I Have No Desire to Fuck You exchange. (i have so many of those, i should patent them or something.)

-it pays ten dollars an hour & involves contact with pube-covered toilet seats.

-who the hell intentionally picks spiky-haired, black-clad androgynes who're leaning against bus stops on an otherwise deserted street at four in the morning as employees?

so i managed to make twenty bucks & salvage another fifty bucks' worth of art supplies (not to mention get a blog post out of the experience), but graveyard shift janitorial work is just not my thing...just any one of the above would have been an instant deal breaker if it was a job that i was *actually* seeking. but yes, apparently if one is curiosity-driven & somewhat inebriated, getting into a black sports car driven by a mustached man named 'rocky' for a spot of late night desk-scrubbing & trashcan-emptying sounds perfectly sensible.

Friday, March 10, 2006

bizarre love triangles

having already sqandered the majority of this week on a blur of sex, weed, & bagels, your humble antiheroine has decided to try to get what productivity she can out of the next couple of days: make some art, try finding a job & all that -- which probably means no blogging. to give those of you out there who like to live vicariously through me your fix, here's a '3 most recent' list-thingie to keep y'all entertained...

1.'breath from another' - esthero
2.'when i said i wanted to be your dog' - jens lekman
3.'home is where the hate is' - the fight

found objects:
1.damp $20 dollar bill
2.cardboard box
3.mostly-edible orange

1.'excess: fashion & the underground in the '80s' - maria luisa frisa & stefano tonchi
2.'the iron dragon's daughter' - michael swanwick
3.'the portable scatalog: excerpts from "scatalogic rites of all nations" by john g. bourke (1891)' - louis p. kaplan

dubious food purchases:
1.musk flavoured 'life savers' candy foie gras with truffles-in-a-can
3.spam lite

petty annoyances:
1.gangs of overlipsticked old women who look at one with an "i wanna fuck you, you dashing young woman, you" kind of look
2.mosquito bites on my neck

favourite expletives:
3.desiccated asshole

Sunday, March 05, 2006

vancouver archaism?


noone says 'car' or 'van' or whatever. they all use "vehicle."

Saturday, March 04, 2006

more proof that ugly travels in packs

- a tubby bald chinese boy with a helium balloon around his neck. think 'giant penis with small ribbon-noose.'
- a woman driving with the tinted windows down who, improbably, made her suv seem small.
- a man who looks like a 6 foot-tall leprechaun in an eurotrash costume.
- way too many people in shorts who'd look better in burquas.
...all seen on one short trip to & from the library.

the phrase "bukkake milkshake" has been running through my head all day.
i'm so gonna stencil it on a tshirt.

Friday, March 03, 2006

techno music is robot sex-noises.
i can't ever seem to get out the door before noon.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

the prodigal souse.

longtime readers of this blog will know that chartreuse, gin, & tequila are my holy trinity, that while languishing in halifax, i was drinking several bottles of hard liquor a week -- in addition to however-many beers i was putting away in bars while fending off unwelcome advances from fuckwits. since leaving halifax, & by extension, sucicidal boredom, i've cut down on my drinking to an amazing extent (not being able to buy liquor in new york definitely helped; asides from getting wasted on new year's & christmas, i was pretty much sober 24/7).

i can say now that i drink only as much as the average north american frat boy (provided he's a small asian chick with a two-beer bladder...that's why i like hard liquor: i'll pass out long before i have to take a piss). during the past 6-ish weeks, my almost-exclusive source of alcohol-y goodness has been beer, the only exceptions being that bottle of calgary-bought chartreuse & some crappy wine.

2 days ago, i bought myself a bottle of gin.

point being, thanks to a frikkin' huge bottle of sapporo & a gin-&-tonic that's mostly gin, this is my first drunk-post from vancouver, & i'm again hitting the wrong keys.