Monday, May 30, 2005

culling the herd

gonna be sneaking some more of my cds into 'hmv's. i've recently been going through all my stuff & mentally cataloguing what i can & can't take to halifax with me; it's very distracting, every time i pick up something or look at something, i think"do i really need it?" -- especially with the move not being for some months yet. this must be what getting married feels like. i can basically bring what i can carry on my own. ie: most of my clothes, some art supplies & books, & whatever else strikes me as important when it comes time to pack. i'll be taking the jewel cases of all my cds apart, packing the lyric-booklets flat & sticking the cds into those cd-carrying thingies & buying new cases for them when i get there 'cause that saves space. i suppose i should be glad i don't have any records. but now that i think about it, it's kind of sad that i don't have any; at least i haven't succumbed to the ipod trend yet.things that you can pick up & hold are way better. i read somewhere that one of the signs that someone's thinking about suicide is if they suddenly start giving their stuff away.

Friday, May 27, 2005

slo-mo kettle

i've taken to carrying around a big, black, lace-trimmed umbrella to keep from getting sunburned, it's fairly annoying but (unlike some people) i can't walk around in head-to-toe black year round. on the plus side,i can use it to hook stuff down from the tops of shelves & the like -- i just have to catch them before they drop on my head. i've also shaved my head completely except for the front where it's asymetrical & partly dyed bluish-green. lots of women stare at my head like they don't know why any self-respecting woman would 'do that to themselves'...hey, if hair is a woman's crowning glory & you exemplify the ideal woman with your mass- produced paradigms, i'm abdicating the throne & throwing my lot in with the guys

...all the things i have are broken but duct tape works miracles

Saturday, May 21, 2005

like a squeegee to the ass

"women travelling alone in new york city should not encounter any problems, even though the subway might seem dangerous. in fact, the crime rate is higher in the streets than it is in the subway cars."

-- from the ulysses travel guide to nyc(1998), pg. 95.

on a completely unrelated note, burgers made using strawberry jelly doughnuts cut lengthwise as an alternative to the usual bun are better than you'd expect.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

me is still happy !

(and that's pretty rare)
i still can't believe i'm gonna move to halifax come september...

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

me is happy

i got accepted into the Nova Scotia College of Art & Design!!!

Monday, May 16, 2005

powdered water

fun fact no. 6341: did you know that may is national masturbation month?

today i got my portfolio back from halifax. nothing was stolen although the condom-purse was a bit squashed; everything also smells faintly like rancid oil because i insisted on using biodegradable packing peanuts (made of soybeans). now it's a matter of time before i get a letter of acceptance/rejection from them -- in retrospect, it seems kinda stupid to apply to just one university...

living in sine,

Sunday, May 15, 2005

purple teletubby blues

giving up early on finding more information on parasocial relationships -- the final-project topic i'm doing for "families in a diverse society", my night school course (it was either this or math & i hadn't failed this before...) -- curse this need for nonconformity! why couldn't i be happy rehashing one of my old assignments & handing that in ? after all, that's what i did for english (a night school repeat for failing 'enriched' eng.: i got bored) last year. i fixed up an old piece from history class on the marquis desade & passed it off as my english paper... i suppose it has to do with respect; i'll only lie to you if i don't like you. both an 8-page essay & a 10-minute presentation (with accompanying 2-pg handout) are due on monday. i'm pretty screwed.

starting on tuesday & for a whole bunch of days after that for the next two weeks i'm gonna be volunteering for 'inside out', a queer film festival; my mom knows i'll be volunteering for a film fest & my dad doesn't know anything [in more than 1 way]. he's more than a little bit homophobic, sexist, and racist: he'd join the kkk if he was white. yep, not all theories of racial supremacy come from puny angry white guys with dumb facial hair!
i'll also most likely sign up to volunteer for this year's pride parade. 19 years living here & i've never even gone to it; if all goes according to plan, i'll be attending art school in halifax by september & i'm fairly sure they don't have anything like it so this is my last chance, really

what do you say my odds are for surviving one week alone on the streets of nyc? on one hand, i'm pretty poor & scruffy looking (i don't plan on bringing along more than some clothes & my notebook) & i know how to steal food; on the other hand, i'm barely 5 foot 3 & i'm female. i plan on doing this sometime in august, when i'll be finished with summer school, as a present for myself for finishing highschool -- it will have taken six years -- i started in '99. the problem is that i only have enough cash for the bus fare there & back with a bit left over for souvieniers & whatnot. i guess i could always sign up as a human guinea pig for some pharmaceutical company or other; they always need people & they pay well. i don't care if i give birth to two-headed babies, i need an Adventure. like some sort of aboriginal rite-of-passage-vision-quest-find-yourself kind of thing. nyc is one of those semi-mythical places that exists in the mind of anybody who reads, listens to music, or watches movies. paris, london, new york, tokyo,... it's just the closest one.

...does bush look like a retarded elf or is it just me?

Thursday, May 12, 2005

i swear to god

hey, "God", this one's for you, baby:
shit, fuck, piss, spit, cunt, cock, pussy, cum, semen, penis, asshole, teabagging, beastiality, incest, rape, titties, funbags, scrotum, arse, s&m, anal, oral,doggie-style & plain ol' missionary, man sausage, shrinky dink, nut sack, ass crack, golden- & brown showers, old people & animals, blow up dolls, wanking, cock rings, clit piercings, boobies, nipple clamps, daisy chains, contraceptives, abortion, sticky-bloody dead fetuses, fisting, fellatio, cunnilingus, whipping, man tunnel, dildo, vibrator, labia, creamsicle, man sausage, faeces, shite, politicians, genocide (no, like that shit ...bastard)

in case You're not as omniscient as Your propagandists make You out to be, this is for an opinion piece in yesterday's paper. some guy wrote a letter complaining about a cartoon ridiculing texas' demands for more modest & less sexy highschool cheerleaders -- the guy couldn't even bring himself to write the word 'sex'! what the bloody buttfucking hell is "s*x", huh? has it ocurred to You that if Your 'flock' is afraid of shagging their little brains out like the dumb animals they are, then there won't be any new bible-humpers to replace this current batch? 'cause You as sure as hell aren't going to make a convert out of me.

one more thing, while You're listening. what's wrong with sexy cheerleaders? isn't that their whole point? are You suggesting that someone like me -- beat up boots, chains, bad haircut & boobs smaller than a fat man's -- could become a cheerleader?gee whiz! i've always wanted to ... & now "God" Himself says i can!!! wooo!!!

lone star joan of arc,

Monday, May 02, 2005

not dead, just not sleeping well

i haven't touched a computer keyboard in a while, so sorry -- presumably there's someone out there who reads this crap i'm writing: make yourself known...pleease -- there's just been a lot of stuff going on, most not involving cyberspace:

-i finally bought a guitar, a squier telecaster because to me the definitive rock guitar is the strat & i don't like meeting expectations. i don't have music in my soul & i'm pretty sure i'm tone deaf, so i'm memorizing chords & working towards simple mechanical competence rather than any rockstar dreams. hell, i can't even complete the sentence "i want to play guitar like...". well, maybe albert king. that'd be nice.
-my portfolio to nova scotia's college of art & design has been mailed in (the deadline is may 15th, so i'm cutting it pretty close) one of the paintings i submitted involved a monologue on the stupidity of love typeset entirely with alphabet pasta & glass beads, it was also spraypainted a shiny red which is also all over my bedroom floor.
-some firsts: i had my first tastes of tequila & whiskey -- tequila's good but i've decided that i don't like whiskey:stuff should only taste burning-sour when it's coming back up.
-my first taxi ride was courtesy of this nice, kinda drunk woman named elizabeth. she gave me a twenty & called me a cab to make sure i "got home ok." we had only met in the bus station waiting for a bus that wasn't coming (it was some time past 2am) & started talking until some bus driver getting off work told us there'd be no more buses & that the last one left over an hour ago... anyway, that stuck in my head because the only reason i was out that late that night was because i was getting away from another family fight & had spent much of it scrunched up on a monument downtown ("to our glorious dead") watching the cars & couples go by & writing bitter things on scraps of paper with a marker from a 7/11 -- i left the house so fast i'd forgotten to bring my pen & notebook, not to mention food & water.
-i don't know how it is for other people, but my days, if they start out bad, they almost always end good. & vice versa. completely bad days are pretty rare but completely good days are even more infrequent.
-i've also started listening to bruce springsteen for some reason, probably out of the sheer perversity of doing the unexpected as a matter of principle; i don't care much for the religious allusions & whatever, but he's actually really good. i haven't bought his latest cd yet.
-one more thing: a couple of weeks back i partially shaved my head -- just the back & part of the sides -- on a whim. it's grown back a bit but i'm thinking of keeping it stubbly & will most likely shave it again once it stops raining & gets warmer again. i also dyed the longer bits of hair in front purple-and-blue-striped this weekend

and the fat lady sings...